Family, personal life or carrier?

A supportive family’s positive effect on health 

On this World Family Day, Emőke Fülöp, psychologist offers some help in this dilemma.  The supportive family has a positive effect on health also, especially in the case of men.  Research shows that married men have a greater chance of living as long as their expected life span.  Moreover, if he has his wife’s support, it may be extended even further.  Research shows that the support of the children also plays an important part in the case of men as well as women.  Having children, then, provides a significant protection factor in a better life expectancy.  

If we knowingly pay attention to ourselves and to each other and set aside time to spend     together, we would be a long way towards a harmonious life.  An outstanding program could be a joint sports activity, a dinner for two, or, a massage for two - not only good for relaxing after work, but, is excellent for strengthening a couple in their relationchip. 

Carrier or family?

Many ask this question.  But, do we have to choose?  Can we not be successful in a job and in a relationship as well?  Is it be possible to realize our childhood dream of a loving family and, at the same time, have the many years of studying bear fruit?  In order to have a well-balanced and happy life, it is important that we find the right balance between our work and our private life and to know what problems we will encounter and how we are going to solve them. 

“There is too much of everything, nowadays.  When we do not like something or, something breaks, instead of fixing it, we exchange it and this is often the case with our partners and our relationships.  If we are in a relationship, our desire for earning a living and a family life often brings us in conflict with ourselves or with our partner, which creates tension.  Many are not aware of the fact that a well-balanced and happy relationship has a positive effect on our health also.  We should strive to attain the proper balance, for this reason”.  Emőke Fülöp

Endless opportunities

As we enter a store, we often think what a confusion of plenty!  It is no different in relationships.  There are plenty of women and men, and yet, it is difficult for them to find a partner.  Why is this?  Many are afraid of the commitment since there is the danger of someone more perfect appearing on the horizon at any moment.  How can we find someone whom we can accept as our partner, after all?

• Define the type of partner we  imagine next to us.  What are the qualities important to us that we look for in the other. 
• What are our values, what things are important for us.
• First impressions are, of course, very important, as well as sympathy and the exterior qualities.  If we are clear in all these, we should have no trouble finding the person we are looking for.

Role conflict?

Many women feel that, after the long years of study, they would like to reap its benefit by obtaining a high-level position.  At the same time, they would prefer not being forced to give up a family.  This puts them in the difficult position of having to choose between the family and a carrier.  The two are often difficult to reconcile and child-friendly work places are rare.  Thus, many of us, mostly women, find ourselves conflicted between our two roles and the expectations at work and home.   On the one side, we are expected to be up-to-date, build a carrier, earn an income and look good and, on the other, make a home, keep things in order and be a loving wife and mother.  It is no wonder that, after a time, we feel that one of the two is being short changed.

How can we have the two roles, after all and at the same time feel good about ourselves?

• Decide the age at which you are going to concentrate on the family instead of your carrier and gradually prepare yourself for the new role.
• Discuss with your partner the manner in which you will assign the duties at home in order to divide the work between the two of you.
• Consciously pay attention to each other and to the children putting energy into your

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